The Mailbox Inside My Chest PART 5 — Letter to the People Who Couldn’t Love Me Correctly
- Ra'Mone Marquis
- Jun 30
- 3 min read
A “Letters Never Sent” Blog Series by Ra’Mone Marquis
One of the most confusing things in life is realizing someone loved you…
and still hurt you.
Loved you…
and still neglected you.
Loved you…
and still failed you emotionally.
Because sometimes the problem is not the complete absence of love.
Sometimes the problem is distorted love.
And distorted love can leave scars too.
Dear The People Who Couldn’t Love Me Correctly,
For a long time, I struggled with understanding the difference between love and healthy love.
Because many people in my life loved through dysfunction.
Loved through inconsistency.
Loved through emotional immaturity.
Loved through wounds they never healed.
Loved through selfishness.
Loved through survival mode.
And when that’s the kind of love you grow around…
you start normalizing emotional confusion.
You start believing:
inconsistency is love
emotional absence is normal
bare minimum effort counts as care
silence is communication
surviving people equals connection
And honestly?
That mindset can damage you deeply.
Because eventually you begin accepting crumbs while convincing yourself you’re being fed.
I think one of the most painful realizations I’ve had as an adult is understanding that some people truly did love me the best way they knew how.
But the best they knew how…
still hurt.
That truth used to make me angry.
Sometimes it still does.
Because a part of me wants to ask:
How do you love somebody and still leave them internally scarred and starving?
But healing has complicated my perspective.
Because now I understand this:
People can only love from the level of emotional awareness, healing, and maturity they possess.
And many people are operating from wounds they never confronted.
That does not erase impact.
But it does provide understanding.
And I think understanding saved me from becoming consumed by bitterness.
Because I no longer see everything through the lens of:
“They never cared.”
Sometimes the reality is:
They cared…
but lacked the emotional tools to love in healthy ways.
And unfortunately, unhealthy love still leaves damage.
It creates insecurity.
Confusion.
Guardedness.
Trust issues.
Emotional exhaustion.
Fear of abandonment.
It teaches you to overanalyze.
To emotionally brace yourself.
To expect inconsistency before consistency.
And unlearning all of that has been difficult.
There are still moments where I catch myself preparing for disappointment before joy even arrives.
Still moments where I question sincerity.
Still moments where emotional safety feels unfamiliar.
But I’m learning.
I’m learning that healthy love should not constantly feel like survival.
I’m learning that care should not have to be decoded.
I’m learning that consistency is one of the purest forms of love.
And I’m learning that some of the things I once tolerated emotionally were never things I deserved to carry.
This letter is not written to shame anybody.
It’s written because emotional honesty matters.
Because being loved incorrectly can shape an entire person.
And for years…
I was trying to heal wounds while still minimizing what created them.
I can’t do that anymore. I won't do that anymore.
The truth is:
Love matters.
But the way love is expressed matters too.
Deeply.
— Ra’Mone
These were never just letters. They were surviving out loud.
The Mailbox Inside My Chest Blog Series
Part 3 - Dear The People I Kept Hoping Would Choose Me - Available Now
Part 4 - Dear The People I Bled On - Available Now
Part 6 - Dear The Anger I Carried Too Long - Coming 7/7
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