The Mailbox Inside My Chest PART 6 — Dear The Anger I Carried For Too Long
- Ra'Mone Marquis
- Jul 7
- 2 min read
Dear Anger,
For a long time, I thought you were the problem.
I thought you were the thing holding me back.
The thing making me bitter.
The thing keeping me stuck.
But the truth is more complicated than that.
You showed up when other things didn't.
When comfort didn't come.
When justice didn't come.
When answers didn't come.
You arrived and said, "If nobody is going to protect us, I will."
And for that, I understand you.
Because beneath every ounce of anger was hurt.
Beneath every frustration was disappointment.
Beneath every outburst was grief.
You were never born from nowhere.
You were born from wounds.
From abandonment.
From loss.
From feeling unseen.
From carrying more than I should have had to carry.
The problem wasn't that you showed up.
The problem was that you stayed.
What began as protection slowly became a prison.
You convinced me that staying angry would somehow keep me safe.
That if I held on tightly enough, I would never be hurt the same way again.
But carrying anger for years is like drinking poison and hoping someone else feels the effects.
The weight doesn't stay with them.
It stays with you.
And I'm tired.
Tired of carrying conversations that ended years ago.
Tired of replaying moments that cannot be changed.
Tired of giving old pain a permanent address in my present life.
This doesn't mean everyone gets a pass.
It doesn't mean the hurt didn't happen.
It doesn't mean the losses don't matter.
It simply means I no longer want my future controlled by what wounded me in my past.
You served a purpose.
You helped me survive.
But survival and healing are not the same thing.
And I think we've been confusing the two for far too long.
So today, I acknowledge you.
I thank you for what you were trying to do.
And then I set you down.
Not because everything is okay.
But because I deserve the chance to become something other than angry.
Sincerely,
The Man Who Is Finally Learning the Difference Between Protection and Peace
These were never just letters. They were surviving out loud.
Part 3 - Dear The People I Kept Hoping Would Choose Me - Available Now
Part 4 - Dear The People I Bled On - Available Now
Part 5 - Letter To The People Who Couldn't Love Me Correctly - Available Now
Part 7 - Dear The Person I Pretended Didn't Hurt Me - Coming 7/14
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